Corona Virus Social Distancing or is that Anti-Social Distancing…
This goddam Corona Virus, like most new events in our lives, comes up with a new phrase that everyone’s supposed to know what to do.
It seems we’re meant to stay 6 feet or 2 metres apart from one another to stop the spread of the virus and many folks have come up with ways to achieve this.
I don’t know about you but wearing masks gloves and any other paraphernalia that people choose use sucks! Isn’t this virus just crap?
So I came up with the following graphic that, for me sums up the whole situation using the rainbow theme that people like to use.
However, what I haven’t heard is anything from the environmentalists, e.g. is their a natural “green” way of doing this?
Well there is – and it’s Farting – simples.
So let’s all start FARTING and get the economies of the world going again.
FART FOR VICTORY!
And don’t forget, the average person farts 14 to 23 times a day.
Before going further, I’d like to add that I did not do a survey and ask Joe Public how many times they farted a day.
In fact, I’d like to know where they got this statistic from – actually, on second thoughts I REALLY don’t want to know.
So the average person doesn’t necessarily have to have a Farting Diet – a big relief there.
Therefore, what we should all be doing is now going over to a Farting Diet but ALWAYS check with a doctor beforehand.
So what’s good for farting?
Well I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you!
Oh and don’t forget – farting can be good for you as holding the gas in could, apparently, irritate the colon and hemorrhoids – what do I know eh?
Of course the ultimate social distance farts come from our canine friends – why is is that dog farts are the worst; that’s ASSuming (geddit) you don’t like the smell of course.
If you do like dog farts – and I DON’T recommend this – feed your dog pickled eggs. I dunno why but when dogs let rip after eating these bad boys, you’ll know about it and how!
This isn’t Social Distancing as we know it – but the odour will clear the space of everything including the Corona Virus if it had any sense…
I hope the above post cheers you up – we all need it for the love of God!
It’s time we all learnt to smile again eh?