Farting – Nature’s Way of Social Distancing.

Social Farting
Social Distance Farting Works!

Corona Virus Social Distancing or is that Anti-Social Distancing…

This goddam Corona Virus, like most new events in our lives, comes up with a new phrase that everyone’s supposed to know what to do.

It seems we’re meant to stay 6 feet or 2 metres apart from one another to stop the spread of the virus and many folks have come up with ways to achieve this.

I don’t know about you but wearing masks gloves and any other paraphernalia that people choose use sucks! Isn’t this virus just crap?

So I came up with the following graphic that, for me sums up the whole situation using the rainbow theme that people like to use.

Covid 19 is Bullshit

However, what I haven’t heard is anything from the environmentalists, e.g. is their a natural “green” way of doing this?

Well there is – and it’s Farting – simples.

So let’s all start FARTING and get the economies of the world going again.

FART FOR VICTORY!

And don’t forget, the average person farts 14 to 23 times a day.

Before going further, I’d like to add that I did not do a survey and ask Joe Public how many times they farted a day.

In fact, I’d like to know where they got this statistic from – actually, on second thoughts I REALLY don’t want to know.

So the average person doesn’t necessarily have to have a Farting Diet – a big relief there.

Therefore, what we should all be doing is now going over to a Farting Diet but ALWAYS check with a doctor beforehand.

So what’s good for farting?

Well I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you!

Oh and don’t forget – farting can be good for you as holding the gas in could, apparently, irritate the colon and hemorrhoids – what do I know eh?

Of course the ultimate social distance farts come from our canine friends – why is is that dog farts are the worst; that’s ASSuming (geddit) you don’t like the smell of course.

If you do like dog farts – and I DON’T recommend this – feed your dog pickled eggs. I dunno why but when dogs let rip after eating these bad boys, you’ll know about it and how!

This isn’t Social Distancing as we know it – but the odour will clear the space of everything including the Corona Virus if it had any sense…

I hope the above post cheers you up – we all need it for the love of God!

It’s time we all learnt to smile again eh?

Sunshine Time
Time to put some sunshine in our lives…

Click here if you want to buy an asktheanus gag themed product.

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